Unravelling The Tim-ystery
Listeners of the CROATS podcast will be familiar by now with the fact that Tim refuses to reveal his surname on the podcast on the ridiculous grounds that to be associated with such a frivolous adventure will somehow hurt his future employment prospects.
However, whilst he may not have revealed his surname yet, Tim has let slip several interesting facts about himself that a would-be identity thief might find helpful in piecing together Tim's real identity. Below we summarise what we know about the mysterious Tim so far...
Welcome To Tim-berland, Population : One Tortured Soul
1. Tim's first name is Tim, but we don't know his surname (I guess that was pretty obvious)
2. Tim suffers from vindaloo-sions of grandeur
3. Tim claims to be an intellectual (although his only evidence for this is that he carries around "A Critique Of Pure Reason" by Immanuel Kant
4. Tim was 38 years old (so definately too old to start writing his memoirs) when the podcast started but has since reached the ripe old' age of 40 (see Episode 49 for our tribute to Ol' Man (Tim) River).
5. Tim listens to The Archers on Radio 4 (but appears confused over whether its about pirates or farmers)
6. Tim suffers from existential angst (particularly during cold snaps)
7. Tim generates ideas in the bath....like Archimedes (although Archimedes never came up with anything quite as ridiculous as The Backwards Quiz)
8. Tim's origins can be found in Leeds, England (just like his namesake in Episode 4, Jimmy Saville)
9. Tim's local postman rides a bike as opposed to driving a van (and he definately doesn't have a black and white cat)
10. Tim now lives somewhere in Surrey, England.
11. Tim proclaims to be an atheist (other famous atheists include Richard Dawkins, Kim Jong-Il and Stalin)
12. Tim has a sister who lives in France (where she no doubt eats lots of baguettes)
13. Tim wishes he could speak in a cooler accent, like Jamaican
14. Tim is jealous of Carol Voderman's intellectual status
The In-Tim-idation Game
Each week on the podcast Tim is assigned a new surname. Surely by process of elimination we are bound to stumble across Tim's true surname eventually. There can't be that many possible surnames in the world right?
Here are the one's we've eliminated so far.